I want to make a zoo with you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
