You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
