OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
