i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
