oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
