You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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