I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
