I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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