haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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