I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
