man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
