You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she peed on how many people?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
50% drunk capacity currently
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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