rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
