He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you win again, gameday.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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