This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm jealous of your bromance
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
