My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
