Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
