Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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