i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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