Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
