my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
