Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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