ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
