Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She bit a glass in half.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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