kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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