aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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