i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
