Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
