I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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