she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
