I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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