i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
