I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
