I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
