Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
