And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
third nipple confirmed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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