Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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