I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize