How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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