he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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