I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
