Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
