I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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