Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
