he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
