bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
