Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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