you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
