Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
