Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
last night I used snow as a chaser
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
