I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
