I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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